Wow, I have not blogged in over a month!
I guess that is what happens when graduate school, work, and adult life, gets in the way. I keep telling myself that it will all slow down soon. This semester is almost over and then in three short months I will be officially done with graduate school! I am beyond excited but scared, very scared.
I am a planner by nature and not knowing what my next steps are going to be after graduation is hard. I have always had a plan, go to college, graduate in 3 years, get married, get a job, go to graduate school..... and that is where I start to go crazy. Is the next step kids? Daycare? Stay at home? Can we afford that? Am I ready for kids? Are you ever really ready for kids? Further my education? Take my LMSW exam? What if I fail? New job? Get my therapist license? Buy a house? Build a house? Invest more?
These are just some of the many questions that go on in my head daily. Life never really goes by the blue prints we have all laid out. I am fully aware of that, so it frustrates me when I spend so much of my time stressing about the next steps in my life. Just yesterday Adrian and I were on our way to take care of adult things (buy groceries, get a car fixed, etc) and I just broke down and cried. I am the emotional one and me crying is normal but what I was most upset about, was that I could not just stop and enjoy the moment.
I am blessed, beyond blessed, actually and I NEED to stop worrying about the future. I do feel like we all need direction and an idea of where we want to go in life, but we can't get so focused on what is next to miss what is now. This is a daily struggle for me. I feel that I tell myself all of the time to slow down and just be present in the now but it is HARD.
My husband is a go with the flow type of guy and he had to remind me yesterday that everything will work out, just how it should. Why is it so hard somedays to trust that? I have come to realize that when I become so stressed and focused on the future that my relationship and trust in God is lacking.
Why do I let the worries of this world derail my relationship with God? Isn't that the time I should lean on him the most? I have to laugh at myself and remind myself, that I really have no control and I cannot see in the future but TRUST in HIM that He has it perfectly planned. So for the next four months I am going to try to live by these two trusted verses:
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own". - Matthew 6:34
" I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future". - Jeremiah 29:11
I hope that we all can remember these verses in the hard times and remember to slow down and enjoy the now.
